I find myself asking this question from time to time. Does it really begin at 40? 50? Or earlier at 30? When does it truly begin?

Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.

Paul Coelho (Eleven Minutes)

Probably this question is very personal. Some of us will never be mature enough, mentally, emotionally or even physically, to deal with life and the rollercoaster of events that come with it.

As for me, my life began when both of my parents were diagnosed with the dreaded cancer. My mom got it first. I still remember the exact moment when she got the news. I was alone with her in that cold hospital room. This was after a few days in the hospital with doctors trying to identify what’s causing the bleeding in her stomach. I could never fathom how my mom felt when she got the news but all I know is that my mother was one of the strongest women I’ve ever known. She didn’t miss a beat and went on “solutions” mode.

From that moment, I became a real adult. Something clicked. Perhaps the realization that time is not infinite and that one parent is going to need the assistance of her spouse and kids to navigate the new reality in her life. Time to grow up. The roles are about to get reversed.

Let me tell you this – the roles will get reversed. Me as the child became a parent to my parents. Circle of life. Not an easy cycle but that’s when my own life began. How many of you remember the very first moment you started teaching your parents about something really important? Or the moments when you try to give advice and realize that you sound like them when they were giving you one as a young adult?

Life begins when you start to become responsible for someone else’s well-being. When you become a spouse/partner. When you become a parent. When you opt to be the caregiver. When your decisions will have long-lasting consequences for others. Life begins.

So those of you Gen Xers who are young parents, my advice – the way you raise your children will determine the way you will be “raised” by your own kids when you’re old and gray. I know because I’ve been and am still there. Some of you may ask, why should you be expected to care for others? Your parents are self-sufficient and you are, too. You don’t expect your kids to be ‘burdened” by your needs. Well, just be prepared. I’m not saying that my experience will be the same as yours. I just took it upon myself to be actively involved in my parents’ welfare. They didn’t have to ask, I volunteered.

That’s when I started living!